Over the weekend my best friend had his bachelor party and I was able to talk to other people and gain there perspective on how the events of today are transpiring. It wasn’t a stereotypical bachelor party if anyone thinks we were talking about Trump in a strip club or anything of that nature. I actually despise places like that and had a lovely day at a fancy 36 round mini golf course and we had dinner and later went to a microbrewery. He had some of his friends there and they are all psychologists so I was able to talk about the constant gas lighting that had consumed my thoughts for the last three years.
If you are wondering why I titled this post The Hangover, it is because yesterday I had an actual hangover and overall I feel as if I have a mental hangover from all the propaganda I have soaked in. Luckily, I had not pushed people away from me due to political beliefs so the people who I have spoken to about this new mental renaissance have all been understanding of the situation and overall I am understanding my own faults.
Upon writing about my life, I have been realizing how messed up it was and all of these suppressed emotions I have been keeping inside of myself. After 9/11, I believe I become increasingly paranoid which led me to believe that the entire US Government is working against us. That is probably why I bit so hard with Trump as he plays to people like me and creates a me vs them attitude and without Donald, we all would have succumbed to the swamp.
When I first started getting really into conspiracies, I was not a content producer/researcher. I went to obscure websites on the web and would use people’s narratives and treat them as truth because that is the way my confirmation bias led me. I got more involved with following the Special Counsel in late 2017 after the whole Roy Moore thing happened. The writing was two different colors, this was obviously a frame job. Jumping in late on the SC, I missed a lot of the critical information that was needed to properly form an objective view. I was already in an echo chamber by then, so I would only see beneficial news or bad news with a spin.
In August 2018, I started actually doing some research on my own because I found some of the top threaders at the time contradicting themselves with their theories. I had been thinking a lot about the Manafort indictment and how Tony Podesta was involved. Why would Mueller bring Manafort into things if he was protector of the swamp? Then in August, we found out that Podesta, Craig, and Weber were all referred to the SDNY. Aha! Mueller and Trump were working together, so I had thought.
This brought me to a very weird juxtaposition as I was supporting two contradictory things at the same time. The Special Counsel was clearly hunting Trump, but being in the echo, I hadn’t seen that Trump can’t be criminally prosecuted. When people like Manafort and Cohen were taken out it was seen as a means for Trump to rinse himself of his bad actors so that he can use it when he starts to take down the swamp. My dumb dumb mind wasn’t putting together that maybe it was Trump’s side that was the dirty one and this was all projection.
Around like January, I had pretty much caught up on everything Spygate related and we were getting into fringe categories. I started looking into the dark side of Trump and was amazed at how much information I missed. It caused me to step back a little, but my loyalty to Trump never faded. With the release of the Mueller Report, I had not read the whole thing, but was cherry picking information that sounded good. I constantly argued that this was all an act and Mueller, Rosenstein, and Trump were on the same team.
You may be wondering, “Hey Joe, what about all those nasty tweets from Trump about the Special Counsel?” Well, in my warped worldview that was just strategic deception. Anything I didn’t like was either the swamp lying or deception to get the liberal MSM to bite and rue the day they rooted on Mueller. Whenever Trump did something fishy I either found it to be funny or for a higher purpose in his overall grand strategy. I didn’t realize that it was projection. I knew all the warning signs too as I wrote on this blog negative things about Trump. I was still caught under the love spell though. I am still trying to figure out why, but I think it was just an unrecognized bias I have had with me most of my life that I never realized.
I started to snap out of it when Epstein died. There were so many conspiracy theories starting about how he was murdered by the Deep State and I was just thinking this is so ridiculous. I tried fighting it, but the echo chamber was strong and my tweets went nowhere. Then it started again when Coats was leaving his DNI role. People started to attack him as swamp and I am just thinking to myself, he has been there for 2+ years, why would Trump keep an enemy in a crucial role for that long. Sue Gordon was also attacked and it turned me off because she was nominated by Trump for that role. Creates all these conflicts in the narrative and the Trump is always right narrative started to lose it’s luster.
Patrick Byrne’s Deep State story line is what really got me rethinking as from there I was able to see how conspiracies are started and spread through the Fox News echo chamber. Then last month the whistle blower started coming forward and things I knew to be true, like the Burisma charges not being linked to Hunter Biden were said to be true. I tried researching and instead only found that this entire narrative was another echo chamber narrative used to create a conspiracy theory.
With enough research and background knowledge, it finally gave me the ability to see through the perception. I realized right away that Ukraine is important for Trump because it does two things: Harms his top political opponent and undermines the Special Counsel. Trump can be indicted once he loses office and the election of Zelensky really put a monkey wrench into those plans as Zelensky has not cooperated with Trump the same way Poroshenko has. When looking at the events of the whistle blower, the complaint itself leads to a road map, but when you look at everything in a single view, it looks like nothing was done that was wrong.
I understand that the whistle blower could have been linking together dots that were not meant to be linked, but the response from Trump has been somewhat frightening. He is calling for treason for everyone. He said that in the old days, we used to handle spies better, basically insinuating that he wants these people put to death. Crazy hearing that, and with Giuliani on the news everyday making things worse for himself, I looked into him too and understood that he and Trump are cut from the same cloth.
I realized too that this whole “counter-investigation” is a bunch of horse shit. If Biden and Ukraine were really guilty of all these high crimes, it wouldn’t be publically aired on television to lead the base towards the slaughterhouse. If any of the FISA stuff was illegal, it would have been handled in the very beginning, not as a political move. What is even more amazing is that Trump actually retweeted a Paul Sperry article that bashed IG Horowitz which leads me to believe that the IG Report isn’t going to go the way that I originally thought it would.
Just taking all of this into account, it annoys me how much I was deceived. I have to be more careful in the future. I don’t like being misled, but my quest to uncover the truth caused me to be blind to the fact that the press and the government don’t lie as much as we are led to believe. I also am starting to see that the conspiracy theory pushers are the ones that are usually guilty of the crimes they push off on others. I am glad I figured this out sooner or later and I hope more people start realizing this too. The last thing this country needs is more fracturing if Trump is impeached. At the end of the day I think we can all agree that if Trump does get impeached, he is not going to go down without a fight.